My phone was dead as a doornail. It’s not unusual for it to die before the end of the day, but I could always plug it in to let it recharge. It would work fine then. But it wouldn’t even charge.
My poor phone had been threatening to die on me for about a year and a half, but I’d been praying that it would hang in there at least until I was able to earn enough money to cover the expense of a new one. So much for that theory.
That’s how I ended up scouring the web for several hours on a Saturday morning trying to find the best bang for my buck. I wanted to go with an unlocked phone for several reasons, and they’re so expensive. The cheapest option would have been to go with a payment plan through my carrier, but I think those cost more in the long run. And they definitely keep you tied down to one carrier. I eventually found what I believe was the best, most affordable option, but it still cost more than I’m comfortable spending. Granted, I’m pretty cheap, and I would have hesitated to buy something like this even when I had a “real” job.
But the truth is, a phone isn’t a luxury item for me. In my line of work, I need a phone. I need to be connected with my clients. I need to be reachable. It’s not a frivolous purchase, even though part of me feels like it is. So what do you do when you truly need to make an expensive purchase and you don’t really have the funds set aside for it?
Well, the Lord and I had a conversation. I was expecting Him to tell me to wait, like He usually does, but this time I felt pretty strongly that He wanted me to go ahead with the purchase. Even though it meant pulling funds out of the account set aside for other expenses. Now I’m waiting to see how He’s going to provide in the mean time, because God never tells you to do something if He doesn’t already have a plan to work everything out.
“O my people, listen as I speak.
Here are my charges against you, O Israel:
I am God, your God!
I have no complaint about your sacrifices
or the burnt offerings you constantly offer.
But I do not need the bulls from your barns
or the goats from your pens.
For all the animals of the forest are mine,
and I own the cattle on a thousand hills.
I know every bird on the mountains,
and all the animals of the field are mine.
If I were hungry, I would not tell you,
for all the world is mine and everything in it.
Do I eat the meat of bulls?
Do I drink the blood of goats?
Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
and keep the vows you made to the Most High.
Then call on me when you are in trouble,
and I will rescue you,
and you will give me glory.”
God owns everything. It’s something to know that in your brain, and it’s something else to know it through your life. God doesn’t need anything from us. He is the Self-Sustaining One, the Creator of All Things. What can someone like me do for Someone like Him? Yet when I need help, He’s there. When I need protection, He offers it. When I need something, He promises to provide.
God doesn’t need anything from me, but what He wants is my thankfulness. He wants my faith and my love and my heart.
My problem is that I like to know my options. I like to know that I’ve already been provided for in advance. I like to be able to look at my bank account and see that all my bills and expenses are already taken care of because I have plenty set aside.
Guess what? That’s not faith. At least, that’s not faith in God. That’s deriving peace from a number in a bank account, and my peace needs to come from God’s promise of provision, not from my own achievements.
It’s not wrong to have money saved up. It’s not wrong to feel comforted when you look at your bank account, but at the same time, you should be careful not to make your bank account your source of comfort.
So here’s to trusting God’s provision more than my own accomplishments. Here’s to trusting God’s bank account instead of my own. Here’s to trusting that God never breaks His promises.