It’s not uncommon to be a single woman in today’s world. The world and the church tell us it’s weird, but it’s more common than they’d like us to believe. I find it funny that it’s one of the only things the church and the world seem to agree on—people need to be married or in a relationship if they want to be considered successful in society. And I don’t believe that.
“I’m just single, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
I am rapidly approaching my mid-thirties, and I have never been married. I’ve never even been on a date. But I’m not one of those people who say that I’m married to Jesus, because Jesus isn’t married to me. I’m just single, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The Lord didn’t bring someone into my life who I felt called to wait for, and I refuse to pursue a man because that’s not my job in the relationship.
But the longer I live and the more relationships I see ending, the more I started to wonder about what girls are learning in our society. Most of the time, I think girls learn that they will only be truly successful if they find a husband and have lots of children.
There’s a lot of pressure placed on Christian girls and women because they’re shown (even if they aren’t taught) that the greatest job description on earth is Wife and Mother. And I’m not saying it isn’t. Those women who are called to be wives and mothers are blessed beyond measure, and our culture needs them. But it’s not the only thing a woman can do.
Years ago, someone suggested that I needed to write a book about what it’s like to be a single Christian woman, and I dismissed it as something I didn’t have time to do. But I do have time to blog. So this will be a series of blog posts on my own personal study in what it means to follow Jesus as a unmarried woman in an upside-down world.
The Bible is the source of all truth, and it’s the best resource we have for knowing how to follow Jesus, whether you’re married, single, male, female, adult, teenager, or child. In 2 Timothy 3:16-17, we read, “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” (NLT)
We’re supposed to be using the Bible to identify the aspects of our lives that need improvement, and we all have them. I know nine important attitudes that a single woman needs to have if she wants to pursue God with all her heart. I’m sure there are more than nine in the Bible, but these are the ones that stand out to me. And over the next several weeks, I’ll be posting about each attitude. Then, maybe, I’ll make this available for people to download in one big file (if anybody reads it!).
This is my list. You might have one of your own, and that’s awesome. But these are the attitudes I’m going to be focusing on in the next several weeks.
- Attitude 1: Patience
- Attitude 2: Perspective
- Attitude 3: Contentment
- Attitude 4: Obedience
- Attitude 5: Love
- Attitude 6: Security
- Attitude 7: Humility
- Attitude 8: Wisdom
- Attitude 9: Honesty
This is not a blog post series on how to get a date. This is not a guidebook on how to get married. It’s not a how-to list on relationships. Could you imagine if I tried to write something like that? Maybe I should, and then I could market it as a comedy. 😉
“There’s no magic. There’s no 12-step process. It’s just truth from the Bible and how to apply it in your lives, regardless of your gender or your Facebook relationship status.”
This series also isn’t me telling the rest of the world that I’ve got this life thing figured out. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. But I have learned a thing or two about being single and following Jesus in my 30+ years. So this is me sharing what I’ve learned, and if you can figure out how to make them work in your life while you’re single, even better, because you’ll still have them when or if you get married.
I write from the perspective of a 30-something single Christian woman because that’s what I am, but that doesn’t mean everyone can’t find something true in what I’ve learned.
There’s no magic. There’s no 12-step process. It’s just truth from the Bible and how to apply it in your lives, regardless of your gender or your Facebook relationship status.
And until then, read the Bible. Take it seriously. Talk to other single Christ-followers in your life and see what they have to say. The Bible is our best resource, but the next best resource is the stories of godly Christ-followers around us.