Throughout my childhood, many of my heroes always talked about how God had directed their lives, and that sounded so fantastical to me. So as I grew, part of me expected God to show up in my life with a big flashing arrow to point me down the right roads. Needless to say, I was a little disappointed when He didn’t.
I’ve been a grownup person for a while now. It’s hard to remember when I still don’t like wearing shoes and would gladly eat ice cream for dinner. I’m not sure when I made the transition from child to grownup, but there were no trumpets sounding, no confetti falling, no awards handed out. Suddenly I had responsibilities and budgets to manage and meals to prepare and deadlines to meet.
Fast forward ten years or so, and I’m still waiting for the heavens to open up and point me in the right direction. God has never popped up in front of me and thundered directions or commands audibly. He has never appeared to me on a grilled cheese sandwich or a ceiling tile.
When the time came for me to make a choice about my life, I tried to make the best choice I could. I used Bible verses. I used what I knew about God. I listened to counsel from godly people. And I moved forward trusting that God would hold me up, regardless of how I felt about the entire situation.
Sometimes that led me into uncomfortable situations. Sometimes that led me into a lot of stress and responsibility. And every time my life would hit a new, frustrating low, I’d feel peace because I trusted Him to work things out. And every time, He did. I didn’t get to hear angels sing when I made a decision. Actually, most of the time, I felt worse after I made a decision, but I’d cling to the hope that I’d made my choice because I did it for God’s glory. And every time, life would just work out. Not the same day. Not the same week. Sometimes not even the same month. But always eventually.
That’s not an accident. That’s a miracle.
From my first job out of college to my last “real” job to where I am now working for myself, His fingerprints are everywhere. I can trace the path of my life back from childhood to where I am now. I can map every bump, every pit, every road block, and I can tell you how what I learned as a result got me where I am today. That’s not an accident. That’s a miracle.
No, God didn’t show up in flashy display of power and majesty, but He did show up. God has always been with me, every moment of every day, but He hasn’t always been obvious because I haven’t always been looking for Him. And that’s the key I think we forget sometimes.
We expect God to bend over backward to get our attention. We look for signs and wonders in the sky to prove to us that He exists, when the very fact that we do exist should be wonder enough.
The Bible says over and over again that we’re supposed to trust God, but how many of us really do it? How many of us even try? Psalm 37:3-7 tells us, “Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.” It’s not easy to live this way. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. But God wouldn’t have told us to do it if it weren’t important.
Trusting yourself has limits, because you are limited. Trusting God is terrifying because He is limitless in every sense of the word. But when you put your whole trust in Him, He can take you where He wants you to go. He can do impossible things through you, but you have to trust Him. You have to turn your will over to Him. You have to turn your plans over to Him.
Sometimes you’ll feel stuck. Sometimes you’ll despair. Sometimes it will feel like nothing in your life is going right. Those are the moments that tell you who you trust.